What I've Learnt As A Wedding Pianist
I’ve played the piano for most of my life, but playing at weddings has taught me a few things I wouldn’t have learnt from my years of practising and perfecting my craft.
The following points will I hope give you an insight into my world and some might surprise you. I hope they may also prove helpful to any budding wedding musicians out there, or as general food for thought for life!
Here are a few things I’ve learnt along the way.
It’s all about the atmosphere
Being a wedding pianist isn’t necessarily about playing every note perfectly, or even about choosing the “right” song. Of course, you need to be able to play well. But a song can be technically perfect and completely miss the mood. Equally, a simple arrangement played in just the right stripped-back way can work beautifully.
At a wedding, I’m there to become part of the atmosphere rather than take centre stage. The music needs to sit naturally alongside everything else that’s happening, whether that's a serene ceremony space where people are quietly finding their seats or a bar filled with conversation and laughter.
Sometimes the most successful playing is the playing that nobody consciously notices, but which would definitely be missed if it wasn’t there.
Always have a cue
The first wedding I ever played professionally, I remember looking at the ceremony room and thinking, “Great, I’ve got a really good view from here. I’ll be able to see exactly when the bride reaches the altar and know when to stop playing.”
Then the registrar asked everyone to stand up.
I couldn’t see a thing.
Lesson learnt.
There was another occasion when I was playing in a church, positioned right at the side of the altar. I thought I had the perfect view from there. Then the six bridesmaids came down the aisle, one after another, and dutifully made their way to their carefully rehearsed positions.
Directly in front of my piano.
I've learnt to always make sure I’ve arranged a signal beforehand - usually somebody from the venue is on hand in the room anyway and always happy to help. Someone who can let me know when the bride has reached the front and it’s time to bring the music to a natural close.
Outdoor ceremonies can bring their own challenges too. Voices don’t always carry particularly well outside and, if I'm not sitting that close to the action, it can be difficult to hear where we are in the proceedings.
So I’ve learnt not to rely on being able to see or hear everything that’s happening. I make sure I know in advance how I’m going to get my cues, and then I can concentrate on what I’m actually there to do: playing the music and making sure it fits the moment.
What is ordinary to me can be quite special to someone else
I've learnt to not take playing the piano for granted.
I've been playing since I was nine so, whilst I have never ever lost the love for it and it's still my favourite way to spend my time, it's a fairly everyday occurrence for me. It's easy to forget that most people don't get to experience live piano very often. When people tell me how special it was to hear me play, that's when I remember how lucky I am that I get to do this.
And how grateful I am to little Christa for putting the hours in (not that it ever felt like a chore) and, most of all, to my Mum and Dad for buying me that first piano, finding me a teacher, paying for lessons, piano books, exams, university... and the ongoing support and encouragement.
Always know your way
I have an appalling sense of direction.
This is slightly unfortunate when your job involves turning up at a different wedding venue every time, often with multiple function rooms, identical corridors, staircases that lead to unexpected places and several entrances that all seem perfectly logically laid out to everyone else.
I have learnt that I cannot simply think, “Oh, I’ll remember where that was.”
I will not remember where that was.
If I find the ceremony room, I need to make a mental note of exactly how I got there. If I move to the room for the drinks reception, I need to remember the route back. If someone tells me I can leave my bags in that room over there, I need to listen very carefully because there is a good chance that two minutes later I will have absolutely no idea where I am.
Dropping breadcrumbs as I go is frowned upon so I try to make very deliberate mental maps as I move around whilst also accepting that I will have to ask for directions several times in one day!
Two pianos are better than one
If the wedding is taking place across several rooms, having more than one piano can make a surprisingly big difference.
Moving a piano, PA system, cables and all the associated equipment from the ceremony to the drinks reception and then to the wedding breakfast sounds straightforward until you’re actually trying to do it while a plethora of guests are moving around the venue.
It also means the music can continue without disruption.
It's more work at the start setting up more than one piano, and more to carry, but it's good for my sanity as I finish the ceremony, knowing that the piano is already waiting for me somewhere else.
Less stress. More playing.
I’m a fan.
Take your breaks
If a wedding flows directly from ceremony to drinks reception to wedding breakfast, it could be easy to end up playing for five hours or more straight. And because weddings are busy, you can find yourself thinking, “I’ll just keep going for now,” and then suddenly realise you haven’t eaten, drunk anything or even moved properly for several hours.
So I’ve learnt to take advantage of the natural gaps in the day.
The confetti moment. Group photographs. A lull while everyone disappears somewhere else. Even the gaps between courses when people tend to wander away from their tables.
If there isn’t an obvious break, I will ask the venue to put some music over the speakers for ten minutes while I have a breather. Alternatively, I can make those breaks less noticeable, by having some ready-made piano recordings ready to play if appropriate.
The guests don't need to hear me playing continuously for five hours. And my playing will definitely suffer if I don't give my body and mind a rest.
Get yourself a system
As the number of bookings grows, organisation becomes just as important as playing. For me, using the online platform Giggio has been a game changer.
I’m really glad I started using it when my bookings were still relatively few and far between, because I had time to get used to the system before things became much busier.
Now I have a proper process for keeping track of bookings, timings, locations, music choices and all the little details that could otherwise end up scattered across emails, WhatsApp messages and random notes.
It also makes things much clearer for couples. They can give me all the information I need about their day in one place, and they know exactly what to expect from me because its all there in their client portal.
And, importantly, it means they can relax knowing everything is in hand.
Be selective and make your own decisions
There is an enormous amount of advice out there about how to run a wedding business.
How you should market yourself. What you should post. Which platforms you should use. How often you should post. What couples "really" want. How to boost followers (why?). How you must "network" (a word that fills me with dread).
And some of it is genuinely useful.
But you don't have to follow all of it.
Your strengths might be different. Your personality might be different. Your ideal clients and your aims might be different. Your life might be different. You might also work as a ballet pianist and a busy music examiner, for example.
There’s also a temptation, particularly when you’re building a business, to try to do everything. Be everywhere. Offer everything. Say yes to every opportunity. I tried this and I almost walked away.
I would advise anyone starting up now to take your time. Let it grow organically. Get good at what you do and embrace authenticity. Trust your gut and don't listen to everyone - confidence doesn't equal competence.
I’d rather focus on the things I genuinely enjoy and do them well than spend all my time trying to become the person I think I’m supposed to be.
And I think that applies to the music too. There’s no point trying to sound like every other wedding pianist. The things that make you slightly different may well be the things that make someone choose you.
And finally… enjoy it
Funnily enough, now I've relaxed the pressure on myself, I'm more in demand than I ever have been as a pianist. And I allow myself to enjoy it more. For all the planning, logistics, emails, equipment, travelling, repertoire decisions and attempts to navigate enormous wedding venues without getting lost, I’m incredibly lucky to do what I do.
People choose me to play the piano on some of the most important and memorable days of their lives.
I get to play songs that people love - that I love - often in beautiful places, and when I see people connecting with the music in their own way, whether outwardly or inwardly, I know I'm right where I should be.
Interested in having me play at your wedding or event? Enquire now. I'd love to hear from you.
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